It was a calm, sunny day when the radio played advertisements while I was packing my school bag. Reading this description, do not take your thoughts back to the ’70s; it’s happening in the 2000s, and we relied on the radio as our TV has yet to shift from our hometown to this new place in the city.
I remember this day clearly as my mom was absent, which is one of the rare occasions when she is a housewife. I was getting ready for my afternoon school as the morning classes were suspended due to board exams. While I was done with my packing, I saw my dad lying on the floor, completely zoned out.
To give you some context, it was a significant transition time for him when he moved his family to the city in confidence on Plan A. However, he got signals after shifting that his Plan A might not turn out. I called him out, but it took a few seconds for him to react.
I, of that age, asked what happened and what he was thinking, not expecting any answer from him but just as an impulse.
Now I am an adult with my own problems and anxiousness, I often go back to that day thinking – what were the probable thoughts he might be having at that moment?
Was he ever under pressure as a man to feed his family without any questions asked or expectations?
Recently, I was conversing with my dad about the stereotyping men face due to norms forced by society. Well, with the things taught to him, or should I say conditioned, he politely accepted everything he does (sacrifices) as normal rather than society-imposed ones.
Well, things turned out good for him, but what about when things go south?
That brings out a bigger question — ‘
Are we women ready to accept a man just the way he is?’
Is it still man’s worth only until he provides?
Well, I don’t like to bring gender to topics that have universal applications. Messed-up mental health screws everyone equally, but what probed me to write it out was ‘how men are convinced and have a strong feeling that no one gives a damm about us.‘ Statistics also confirm this where 51.7% of women (in 2021) received support from mental health services, and only 40% of men with a mental health condition did (National Institute of Mental Health).
A woman with a basic problem attracts a lot of attention, whereas a man has no right to complain – thoughts of few men I know.
What to do now?
It all boils down to maintaining good social relations with the people around. Go with quality over quantity.
What is the point of thousands of followers on Instagram boosting that you have countless friends when you can’t speak your heart out when all the opposite person has to do is JUST listen.
FINALLY
A few days back, I learned that June is celebrated as Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month.
From a woman to all the men out there – here is the message:
Dear Men, Are you stressed because your parents are not being supportive? – Your mom had carried you, and your dad waited patiently for nine months just to see your teeny tiny face and hear you cry. I am sure they are patient enough to hear you out.
Dear Men, Do you feel stressed about finding love? — Just work on yourself, be kind and empathetic, and there won’t be a woman who could resist that.
Dear Men, are you going through a heartbreak? – Cherish that you found someone to love and dared to go above and beyond for them. Loving is the most vulnerable thing a person can do, so be proud of that.
Dear Men, if you are stressed about your career – Don’t worry. We are all here figuring it out (That’s the way of life, right?).
HERE IS A WEBSITE WHERE HELP CAN BE FOUND: https://www.thelivelovelaughfoundation.org/find-help/helplines
Its been a while since I have posted a blog.
Anusha VELAMURI
I recently gave my thesis to my guide for corrections, and he appreciated my vocabulary and style of writing. Soon, I thought all the credit goes to the time I took to write blogs and all my lovely readers who connected with them and encouraged me to write more. So, this blog is an ode to all my blogging memories.
#anushawrites 